Monday, July 17, 2006

Swift Greenwich Republicans for Truth

Since Joe Lieberman seems to be channeling George Bush during this campaign, it's just a matter of time before we see this:

SWIFT REPUBLICANS FOR TRUTH

(Ominous music. We see Ned Lamont's picture, blurry, sepia-toned and with a little Snidely Whiplash moustache painted on.)

VOICE: Ned Lamont claims to be a liberal. But is he really? These Republicans tell the story.

(Cut to several well-dressed WASPs sitting in one room of a cavernous mansion)

MRS. PENNYWINKE-SMYTHE: (she is draped with two tons of pearls) Oh, yes, I served tea and crumpets at the meetings of the Greenwich Board of Selectmen back in those days. Mr. Lamont often talked about how much he hated things like the library, and school children.

DUDLEY COVINGTON-ARCHIBALD: (in a top hat) Yes, quite, when we Republicans drew up plans to keep the rabble from (shudders) Norwalk, ugh, off of our pristine beaches, dear old Neddy used to cackle with an evil sort of glee. I must say, I found it quite becoming.

MRS. PENNYWINKE-SMYTHE: Itty-bitty children. He hated them. Stole their lunch money and punched them in the face. What fun we had!

VOICE: But that wasn’t all…

PHINEAS WILLOUGHBY-FFINCH: (Pale, with a serious overbite and a pipe) Do you know he called Pat Buchanan a communist bastard?

PRESCOTT BUSH’S CORPSE: (stuffed, on a very nice couch) I think Ned’s great.

MRS. PENNYWINKE-SMYTHE: He put a lock on the library and charged $500 admission per person.

VOICE: And what did these Republicans think when they found out he was opposing Joe Lieberman?

PHINEAS WILLOUGHBY-FFINCH: Oh, I was very surprised at old Neddy. He used to tell me what a fine and strapping fellow George W. Bush was. He and Joe Lieberman were ever the best of friends.

DUDLEY COVINGTON-ARCHIBALD: He liked to bomb things. He had an artillery range in his backyard. He was very excited about Iraq. I must say I feel betrayed! He’s since taken the cannon out.

PHINEAS WILLOUGHBY-FFINCH: Right, he’s no fun anymore.

PRESCOTT BUSH’S CORPSE: What an ass.

VOICE: Ned Lamont. Shame, shame, shame.

MRS. PENNYWINKE-SMYTHE: You Democrats should all really vote for Mr. Lieberman instead. We like him very much!

VOICE: Joe Lieberman for Senate. At least he’s up front about it.

16 comments:

ctblogger said...

This post is an instant classic.

TrueBlueCT said...

Stamford Advocate blasts Lieberman for engaging in class warfare.

"plenty of people in Connecticut are watching the race, as well, and some of the campaign rhetoric may not be doing Fairfield County any favors. We refer to campaign sound bites that appear to reinforce some incorrect and unfortunate stereotypes about our region."

"The campaign is trying to draw a stark personal comparison between Mr. Lamont, a former Greenwich selectman and, yes, a successful cable television entrepreneur, and Mr. Lieberman, to make the point that Mr. Lieberman is more in touch with the concerns of ordinary (read: not rich) citizens. This is a calculated political strategy, designed to appeal to the many registered Democrats of modest means who are expected to vote in the primary. But it also trades on an us-versus-them stereotype in Connecticut that is counterproductive, with broad negative implications in the past for our entire county. It also may end up working against candidates for statewide office from our area now and in November."

TrueBlueCT said...

P.S.--

For the record, the Liebermans' DC townhouse is valued at over $1.1 Million. (The unit next door sold in April for $1.3 Million.)

bluecoat said...

Has he put it up for sale yet? or does he plan to stay there get a job on K Street after the election? Wasn't his place in new Haven up for sale quite a while OK. Personally I think Joe knew he was out long ago and he's just putting on a show for GWB.

TrueBlueCT said...

Joe's New Haven house was for sale, and is now on deposit. (asking price $499,000).

It will be interesting to see where he moves to.

While his campaign staff says Joe is "down-sizing" in Connecticut, one can't help but wonder if he'll be "up-sizing" in DC. What with Mrs. Lieberman's new high-paying lobbyist job with Hill & Knowlton.

Quarterly Prophet said...

I approve of any candidate that so fiercely believes in the Second Amendment that he owns an artillery range. I'm down with any progressive Democrat that knows how to properly wield firearms.

Anonymous said...

Is that the PENNYWINKE-SMYTHE's from Vernon?

bluecoat said...

I thought LaMont was an immigrant from Quebec...not a Mayflower type..

Don Pesci said...

What about Hezbollah? Ned? Ghengis? BRubenstein? Anybody home?

s p a z e b o y said...

I agree with ctblogger, nice work.

Thanks also for the link, one day I'll earn a spot on your blogroll... ;)

Genghis Conn said...

You should already be on there. My mistake for not adding you.

FatGuyinMiddleSeat said...

4 major points being made in the diners and well-manicured lawn gatherings across the state:

1. You can't spell Lamont without Lamo.

2. You can't spell Lieberman without Lie.

3. Schlesinger is a "sure bet".

4. Fabrizi is testing well, even in Milford.

FatGuyinMiddleSeat said...

Ned's contributor data was released by the FEC.

HUGE SURPRISES on the contributor list:

1. Barbra Streisand
2. Paul Newman
3. George Soros
4. Norman Lear
5. Jackson Browne (so that Ned won't "run on empty")

MikeCT said...

The real Republicans are loving Joe this week.

Derby Conservative said...

I’ve been away for a while and was eager to update my blog and then check out the action on CTLP. I click on the link from my blog and read this post from GC. I can appreciate humor, but this is really disturbing. I don’t appreciate the way it paints Republicans as elitists. I can assure you that there are very few, if any, elitists living in Historic Derby. As a non-elite Republican, I really am offended by this stereotype. Also, the reference to Prescott Bush’s Corpse was in poor taste. We have come to expect more from you GC, and this is truly disappointing.

Also, are you openly pulling for Nedly, or simply adding fuel to the fire? Based on your recent history, I would think that it’s the former.

Anonymous said...

Ned Lamont, proving Once Again That he can buy his way into The US Senate Why am I not surprised about this??

The DFA,Celebritys and Left Wing Liberals any way they can buy a seat at the table.

Hopefully the Voters of Connecticut will see through another of Ned Lamont's deceptions and will elect Joe Lieberman for 6 more years.