Monday, July 17, 2006

Swift Greenwich Republicans for Truth

Since Joe Lieberman seems to be channeling George Bush during this campaign, it's just a matter of time before we see this:

SWIFT REPUBLICANS FOR TRUTH

(Ominous music. We see Ned Lamont's picture, blurry, sepia-toned and with a little Snidely Whiplash moustache painted on.)

VOICE: Ned Lamont claims to be a liberal. But is he really? These Republicans tell the story.

(Cut to several well-dressed WASPs sitting in one room of a cavernous mansion)

MRS. PENNYWINKE-SMYTHE: (she is draped with two tons of pearls) Oh, yes, I served tea and crumpets at the meetings of the Greenwich Board of Selectmen back in those days. Mr. Lamont often talked about how much he hated things like the library, and school children.

DUDLEY COVINGTON-ARCHIBALD: (in a top hat) Yes, quite, when we Republicans drew up plans to keep the rabble from (shudders) Norwalk, ugh, off of our pristine beaches, dear old Neddy used to cackle with an evil sort of glee. I must say, I found it quite becoming.

MRS. PENNYWINKE-SMYTHE: Itty-bitty children. He hated them. Stole their lunch money and punched them in the face. What fun we had!

VOICE: But that wasn’t all…

PHINEAS WILLOUGHBY-FFINCH: (Pale, with a serious overbite and a pipe) Do you know he called Pat Buchanan a communist bastard?

PRESCOTT BUSH’S CORPSE: (stuffed, on a very nice couch) I think Ned’s great.

MRS. PENNYWINKE-SMYTHE: He put a lock on the library and charged $500 admission per person.

VOICE: And what did these Republicans think when they found out he was opposing Joe Lieberman?

PHINEAS WILLOUGHBY-FFINCH: Oh, I was very surprised at old Neddy. He used to tell me what a fine and strapping fellow George W. Bush was. He and Joe Lieberman were ever the best of friends.

DUDLEY COVINGTON-ARCHIBALD: He liked to bomb things. He had an artillery range in his backyard. He was very excited about Iraq. I must say I feel betrayed! He’s since taken the cannon out.

PHINEAS WILLOUGHBY-FFINCH: Right, he’s no fun anymore.

PRESCOTT BUSH’S CORPSE: What an ass.

VOICE: Ned Lamont. Shame, shame, shame.

MRS. PENNYWINKE-SMYTHE: You Democrats should all really vote for Mr. Lieberman instead. We like him very much!

VOICE: Joe Lieberman for Senate. At least he’s up front about it.

8 comments:

ctblogger said...

This post is an instant classic.

Anonymous said...

Is that the PENNYWINKE-SMYTHE's from Vernon?

Don Pesci said...

What about Hezbollah? Ned? Ghengis? BRubenstein? Anybody home?

spazeboy said...

I agree with ctblogger, nice work.

Thanks also for the link, one day I'll earn a spot on your blogroll... ;)

Genghis Conn said...

You should already be on there. My mistake for not adding you.

Anonymous said...

4 major points being made in the diners and well-manicured lawn gatherings across the state:

1. You can't spell Lamont without Lamo.

2. You can't spell Lieberman without Lie.

3. Schlesinger is a "sure bet".

4. Fabrizi is testing well, even in Milford.

Anonymous said...

Ned's contributor data was released by the FEC.

HUGE SURPRISES on the contributor list:

1. Barbra Streisand
2. Paul Newman
3. George Soros
4. Norman Lear
5. Jackson Browne (so that Ned won't "run on empty")

Anonymous said...

Ned Lamont, proving Once Again That he can buy his way into The US Senate Why am I not surprised about this??

The DFA,Celebritys and Left Wing Liberals any way they can buy a seat at the table.

Hopefully the Voters of Connecticut will see through another of Ned Lamont's deceptions and will elect Joe Lieberman for 6 more years.